October is where the "rubber meets the road" in terms of school years. September is about the newness of each school year. The summer is still holding on to all of our imaginations, but the sounds and sights of fall are beginning to take over. October...its about getting down to business! In a school, October is about making sure students finish their first quarter strong, and are transitioning to their next season of activities. Progress reports and conferences are part of the business of October. And yes, Halloween kicks off the holiday season. There are professional days, and half days in the schedule for this month aplenty, so please be watching for announcements from the school. In this edition of the Cubby Chronicle we hope to help guide you through this busy month, before things get frantic in November and December! Please contact us if you have any questions or concerns that we need to be aware of. Our office phone number is 360-538-8220.

We will work to highlight information that we hope is useful for parents/guardians as they walk the middle school pathways with their students. This month we put the highlight on Bullying prevention and support. Let's start with what is and isn't bullying. For an act to be considered bullying there must be three factors present: Intent, repetition, and power.

• Intent-This is simply saying that the person doing the bullying behavior intends to cause either physical or mental harm on someone else. It isn't an accidental occurence.

• Repetition-Bullying is a pattern of behavior, meaning it happens more than once. Does that mean if you have concerns about an incident, you should wait to see if it will happen again before you report it? No. If you have concerns, schools will want to know so they can begin sorting it out before it becomes a pattern of behavior, and a much bigger issue.

• Power-Statistically, it is the vulnerable groups that are most often the victims of bullying. Examples of vulnerable groups are children of communities that are marginalized, children from poor families, children with different gender identities, children with disabilities or migrant and refugee children. However power also is about whether the bully is perceived to be from a higher status group, or whether they are bigger, stronger, or more popular.

Bullying can happen both in person or online. Cyberbullying often occurs over social media, SMS/text or instant message, email, or any online platform where children interact. We have dealt with bullying issues over SnapChat, TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, and even Google Classroom. Because parents may not always follow what their children are doing on these platforms, it can be difficult to know when your child is affected.

How can I help prevent bullying?

The first step to keeping your child safe, whether in-person or online, is making sure they know the issue. 

1. Educate your children about bullying-Once they know what bullying is, your children will be able to identify it more easily, whether it is happening to them or someone else. 

2. Talk openly and frequently to your children-The more you talk to your children about bullying, the more comfortable they will be telling you if they see or experience it. Check in with your children daily and ask about their time at school and their activities online, inquiring not only about their classes and activities, but also about their feelings.

3. Help your child be a positive role model-There are three parties to bullying: the victim, the perpetrator and the bystander. Even if children are not victims of bullying, they can prevent bullying by being inclusive, respectful and kind to their peers. If they witness bullying, they can stick up for the victim, offer support, and/or question bullying behaviors.

4. Help build your child’s self confidence-Encourage your child to enroll in classes or join activities they love in your community. This will also help build confidence as well as a group of friends with shared interests.

5. Be a role model -Show your child how to treat other children and adults with kindness and respect by doing the same to the people around you, including speaking up when others are being mistreated. Children look to their parents as examples of how to behave, including what to post online. 

6. Be part of their online experience- Familiarize yourself with the platforms your child uses, explain to your child how the online and the offline world are connected, and warn them about the different risks they’ll face online.

If you are unsure your child is being bullied, here are some signs to be on the watch for:

• Physical marks such as unexplained bruises, scratches, broken bones and healing wounds 

• Fear of going to school or joining school events

• Being anxious, nervous or very vigilant

• Having few friends in school or outside of school

• Losing friends suddenly or avoiding social situations

• Clothing, electronics or other personal belongings being lost or destroyed

• Often asking for money

• Low academic performance

• Absenteeism, or calling from school asking to go home

• Trying to stay near adults

• Not sleeping well and may be having nightmares

• Complaining of headaches, stomach aches or other physical ailments

• Regularly distressed after spending time online or on their phone (without a reasonable explanation)

• Becomes unusually secretive, especially when it comes to online activities

• Being aggressive or having angry outbursts

If you know your child is being bullied, there are several steps you can take to help:

1. Listen to your child openly and calmly-Focus on making them feel heard and supported, instead of trying to find the cause of the bullying or trying to solve the problem. Make sure they know that it is not their fault. 

2. Reassure your child-Tell the child that you believe them; that you are glad they told you; that it is not their fault; that you will do your best to find help. 

3. Talk to the teacher or school -You and your child do not have to face bullying alone. Ask if your school has a bullying policy or code of conduct. This may apply for both in-person bullying and online.

4. Be a support system-For your child, having a supportive parent is essential to dealing with the effects of bullying. Make sure they know they can talk to you at any time and reassure them that things will get better. 

Our purpose here isn't to tell anyone how to parent their child. But if we can get some information out there that may be helpful, we want this to be a resource for you.

Some big changes in our Music Program this year. We have two new music teachers in the Hoquiam School District: Drew Shipman is our 6-12 band teacher, and Anna Messenger is our 6-12 Choir teacher. We are excited to welcome these two talented musicians to our community!

Another change is that this year we are asking Band and Choir families to sign up their child in Final Forms. This is due to the travel that both programs have, and the need to have student information if medical attention is required.

If you are looking for Final Forms, you can find it at this web address: https://hoquiam-wa.finalforms.com/

Parents need to create an account. Here is where you can find directions for making an account: https://s3-us-west-2.amazonaws.com/sportshub2-uploads-prod/files/sites/2656/2020/12/14094353/Hoquiam-FinalForms_ParentPlaybook.pdf

I love this time of year... falling leaves, cozy sweaters, warm drinks, and the routines are pretty set at school.

Just about every month I do Counselor Talk with all students.  This year the classes will be Mr. Pelan, Jr., Mrs. Kelly, and Mr. Temper.  This way I am able to see all students.  This past month of September was our annual bully talk.  This is where I go over what bullying is-- has to be someone being disrespectful at least two times.  There are five types of bullying: verbal, physical, social, cyber, and sexual.  

Physical will usually always go to Mrs. Ounsted or Mr. Cook.  Sexual harassment will always go to Mr. Cook.  As the school counselor, I will take on the first step and make phone calls to both parties of the conflict report.  After this all conflict reports will go to Mrs. Ounsted.  

I tried something different this year by putting the ownership on the students because they listen to each other more than the adults.  (Remember being a young teenager??)  I want them to stick up for their friends and tell the person being mean to stop.  I also want them to report the incident.  Please understand, our goal is for a school where students feel safe.

Next month we will be discussing attendance and which adult(s) in the middle school they are beginning to trust.  We work on relationships every day in the classroom.

Hope Squad

This past month we have been talking about community and what community looks like.  We have also been working on our first Hope Week, which is Sept. 30-Oct. 3.  They will be going to all the homerooms to introduce Hope Squad and do an activity introducing anti-bullying month.  They have been practicing most of this week and are very excited to present on Tuesday.

Attendance

Absences add up! Missing two days or more per month means a student misses more than 10% of the school year. Build the habit of good attendance early: http://ow.ly/j7qi50KsphG #ShowingUpMatters #AttendTodayAchieveTomorrow